My Unemployed Dreams Have Been Actualized

Done and done!

I have officially joined the exalted ranks of the unemployed!!!

For the first time, I am writing this from my own humble abode. That's right, the deed has been done and I am finally enjoying having the responsibility level of a bum. I was laid off on Tuesday, along with the rest of the staff at my job. They let 10 people go when they let me go.

I will set the scene for you. On Monday our corporate boss was there and there was a rumor of a mandatory meeting to be held on Tuesday. Since I don't come in on Tuesdays because of school I asked if I needed to be there - thinking this might be the day because we have never had a mandatory meeting before. They told me I needed to be there at 9:00. I said I could not be there at that time because of school. Then they told me to come in at any time on Tuesday...a little obvious, don't you think?

So, I went into work on Tuesday at noon. I walked in and no one was there except the managers. At this point, I knew what was coming and I can honestly say it was one of the most exciting moments of the year. I went into the office and 5 minutes later I walked out with a jig in my step and three weeks severance pay in my hand. The shackles were off and the ball and chain was released. I gathered my things and left that shit-hole for the last time. It felt tremendous.

On the drive home, I must admit, I probably appeared a bit disturbed to any onlooker in another car. I was doing a lil scream-singing and a lil dancing...I totally geeked out!

The next day I filed for unemployment benefits, or as I like to call it, freeloader funbag research. I now have six months of freedom...if I play my cards right. The very fact that I am so proudly and gladly taking advantage of unemployment has conjured up a few thoughts in my mind. Should I feel guilty for taking advantage of a system that is designed for those that are truly down on their luck? Should I be proud to do so? and if so, what does that say about me?

Fortunately for me, as soon as those questions come up the bong finds it's way back around the circle. Seriously though, the system is obviously flawed, but while it is, I plan to utilize big brother's contribution to my life. I see it like this, I am doing research...six months of research for when I am a social worker. I must know what it is like to be unemployed if I am ever going to enact any social change regarding worker's rights. So, research it is, glorious, glorious research.

I hope the next half year treats you well...I know it will be exciting for me. I still plan to write and fill everyone in on my journey thru the freeloader funbag research highway.

Happy Holidays

Finally, the fall break is in our presence…and not a day too early! It seems the buzz of the office has skipped the fall holiday entirely and shot straight to Christmas – and this was the case even before the last piece of sticky Halloween candy had been peeled from the carpet and eaten by that curious little rebel toddler. People practically break out in panic-induced hives of excitement the day wal-mart puts their first plastic tree on the shelf. Yep, you know it’s the consumer season in this office when the ladies spend every minute discussing what fantastic decorations and gifts their local dollar general has this time.

And what, you ask, will be the fashion in trash décor this season? Well, it remains to be seen, but I know, the ladies are ecstatically inspired by those “new cute lil coke bottles shaped like balls.” Yes, this year Bonnie, or as I like to call her – tweaker crafty mc’gives-a-lot, has started collecting and buying as many of those plastic balls filled with cola as she can find.

I commend her for her recycling efforts, but I think it defeats the purpose when you buy the cola for the sole purpose of recycling it. She also has high hopes for the dozens of cardboard drawers that are being recycled here. I am not too sure what kind of functionality can be fashioned out of old dusty mildewed cardboard, but she is obviously motivated to use them for something.

You know…I am poking fun at the ladies for their obsession with the holidays, but to be honest, I strongly encourage their fascination with creating art from trash and recycling materials rather than spending money consuming products that are only put to use once a year.

So, for any of you that are maybe contemplating making something this year for your beloved friends and family…I support this concept and advise all of those who are creatively minded or just low on funds, to make your gifts this year. There are too many reasons to do so – save your money and let your loved ones know you care for them. But, as a minuet warning and in the words of my father, “be prepared for the thoughtful gift to mean more to you than it does to them.” Occasionally the appreciation can be dull at best, but I still say its worth it – if they don’t like it, you can always take it back in glorious vengeance years later.

At any rate, the holidays are here and the rampage is just beginning. Hold on to your sanity, I have a feeling it is going to be a dirty month of unabashed consumerism. Have a wonderful day of feasting with family and friends. I ask everyone to stay conscious of the historical truths of the holiday, but still enjoy the gathering of love. Keep the love, and forgive the hate…but Never Forget. And make an effort to remember those for whom the day is sorrowful.

25 more days of work until the time of liberation!

¡Feliz de acción de gracias!